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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25134334">I am willing to try if you are.</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mondo1682/pseuds/Mondo1682'>Mondo1682</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Shadowhunters (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/F</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 10:46:55</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,162</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25134334</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mondo1682/pseuds/Mondo1682</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Clary dosn't trust the Seelie Queen. And is fighting the itch to go back. Until...</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Clary Fray/Seelie Queen (Shadowhunter Chronicles)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>I am willing to try if you are.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Clary was struggling since she kissed the Seelie Queen. Not just physically. With the people around her. Simon and Jace came to mind. But mentally. As she started sleep walking. What she thinks is the Seelie Court. Drawing her. </p><p>So she started using preventions. Energy and Focus Wards. To keep her going. But they overdid it at times and always came with a cost. Since her body couldn't digest the wards. </p><p>So she tried to compensate but everyone noticed. Definantly including the Seelie Queen. Who was torn about this outcome. She understood Clary had to go and be a hunter. Save the world, but she is damaging herself in order to stay. Worried her. </p><p>The Queen didn't know what happened to her lovers if they resisted the bond. Even to the degree Clary was doing. A being of strong will couldn't last. Eventually.</p><p>She though had half a mind. To pay or order someone to bring her here. So they can understand how their relationship will work. The queen realized at least Clary would have to come to her. So she can be stable again.</p><p>Though Clary wouldn't like that method. She would see it as another devious thing the queen did. Which left it to be presented one other way. That she didn't like. If Clary didn't come to her. To fix herself. She would have to put in affairs to travel to Clary.</p><p>Rarely taking trips to the other side. For affairs of the court. She wasn't sure going after her. Was one. A lover never had eluded her by leaving. It intrested her.</p><p>From the norm of being fawned over by citizens off the seelie. Clary of the City. Was a nice change of pace. She refused to bow down to her. Making her genuinly want to earn her praise. SQ wasn't lying that night. Things had changed. She was intrigued, now hooked.</p><p>Not just the physical impression. She asked for more information of her from her knights to get it. To creatures and humans that entered since.</p><p>And from what she learned. Made her feel even closer to the red hair hunter. She was just the same as her. Her world was changed. Thrusted at her suddenly.</p><p>Reminded her of when she became the queen. Being queened after her parents were assainted. Running away to fight another day. To taking care of the people around her. It scarred her. To the point she became the queen. That put everyone under her thumb so nobidy had to live the dark days again. </p><p>Clary of the City had chosen her as her kiss of desire. It was the first time anyone has been nice to her. Besides family and some friends. But she had realized the dark truth and most of her friends burned her. Because they feared who she might become. When her parents died. And the danger was done. </p><p>She didn't want Clary's light to die like hers did. In the end of her miss. The light that actually seemed to care about what she did. Not that she was evil, but challenging her. Like she could be better. </p><p>Exactly the same way that she was describing her. So she put the affairs in order with her knights. Hoping she won't be late to save her lover. That actually felt like a lover. Instead of what it felt like before the lovers praising her. So she felt satisfied.</p><p>Back to Clary. She was getting worse. Everyone could smell the rune usage she used as she kept trying to apply more. Or going on demon hunts with alec and izzy. Or consorting with Magnus about Seelie lovers. </p><p>The bad thing was the bridge with Simon and Jace was   forever changed. Jace was crazy that the Queen stacked the kiss to drug her. While Simon was in the background. A silent dissaproving shadow. Trying to be there when she would need him supposedly. Both acting like her lover. </p><p>She didn't technically break up with both of them. So they were both thought they were who she desired or actually wanted. But she chose to kiss the queen.  The only option that felt right or untainted. Desired.</p><p>But she knew she wasn't in the right mind to unpin the grenade. And tell them off. They think she was tainted by the queen.</p><p>The only ones that belived she was sane was Alec, Magnus, and Izzy. Well sanish. As she still wants to be connected to the queen.  Just to be able to be here. Magnus has been trying to help find alternate ways to help the connection. While she talks and distracts with izzy and alec. </p><p>She dosn't even really notice her bed dip. A comfortable presence fills her. Unlike the heart ache that she tries to quell all this time. Causing her to grin. "I'm guessing it's you. Seelie?" When arms wrap around her.</p><p>To be faced with a presence of a barley dressed red haired teenage girl. That she would guess is the queen. Since seelie queen could transform. Magnus stated.</p><p>Who only grinned. "Only me my love. Turned out i was the one who caved." Clary feeling proud "Guess that makes me irresistable instead." When a hand touches her face rubbing her check. Making Clary swoon. As Seelie chuckles. </p><p>"Yes irresistable..." as seelie lifts up Clary's tank top. Making Clary blush as she involuntary lifts her arms up. Letting Seelie throw it to the floor. "But damaged." Landing a kiss on the offending mark she revealed. The marks on the stomach. Clary did. </p><p>Holding Seelie's eyes. Clary says "i know but you actually care because your here. Beautifully i might add. (Rubs SQ's right arm. Up and down, Clary left and SQ right) But i wouldn't change what i did."</p><p>Clary expects a angry retort but is suprised at the look in her eyes instead. It's not anger but understanding. "I know it's cute. Since you refuse to be in the court. I couldn't let the light that fascinates me be unprotected here. So i'm here to back you up. Show you that you are not alone. To be yourself cause i know your world changed. And i won't let it change you." </p><p>The honesty pouring out. Showing how vulnerable SQ is. And not a trick. Letting Clary's irational thoughts go from her head. As she brings her head up to look at her. Kissing her. </p><p>After minutes of breathing. Clary says " I know we don't know eachother. But thank you for being honest. It helps you care." Hugging her. "I thought ...." </p><p>Until SQ kisses her developing frown. Away. "I know i did too once. But i wanted to show you that what you can do is good. Then maybe i can learn again. Like you do." </p><p>"That sounds good." Clary nuzzles into Seelie. "I like us as a team." Sq grins "And what a team we will be."</p><p>Valentine and whatever threat that will come will face.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>made this from reading another fic. From HopeSilverHeart's the one you most desired. This is a continuation of the story. In my own words. I don't own nothing else. The story i wanted to make. </p><p>Also it's a prompt if anyone wants to take stuff for their own stories. Hope Corona stays away.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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